BLOOMING FROM THE WOUND WHERE I ONCE BLED

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Wow, I really know this concept like the back of my hand! I have lived it. Deep down in the dark muddy waters, I wade. I usually commiserate there for a while and then somehow I pull up my bootstraps, call on my ancestors, and make it through the trenches. I am still blooming, however, or maybe this is me full bloom and I’m just not aware of it yet. I am called to share a little about my three experiences in jail. How each of these experiences taught me that God’s love is the most powerful energy. To trust in the unseen and especially in myself. That everything we go through in this life is an activation FOR US designed BY US on a soul level. 

My first embarrassing and slightly traumatic time in jail I was 17. I stole some shorts for my best friend from a popular store on the Santa Monica promenade. I wanted to get her a gift but had no money. I was in the bunk bed cell overnight and was banned from the store for life. It was my first taste of incarceration and I felt like the biggest loser in the world. When they caught me my face was beet red and my body was hot. I wanted to melt into the floor. That lotus bloomed only a little from that journey. It took me another 7-year cycle to truly learn the hard lessons of Sacred Space. What doesn’t belong to me, I DON’T TOUCH. I had a couple more lessons (like borrowing a friends item and not returning it and the guilt that ensued) that solidified this teaching. I have struggled with self-worth issues my entire life. I believe a low self-worth can lead to feeling the NEED for things and the literal disorder of not having the control to not touch what isn’t ours. As a grown goddess now I am actually SO sensitive to this concept and bless my hands all day with sacred intention as I touch anyone and anything. It’s been a long journey, but I wouldn’t give up the hard lessons that led to this beautiful sacred way of being. 

The second time I found myself in jail was due to a very traumatic abusive relationship. He beat me and called the police on me claiming I had ‘come at him’. When I went to San Francisco County Jail, at 21 years old, I used my one phone call to call my abuser. During my week there amongst the drug addicts and very hard violent men, I channeled a letter from Source to myself. Source exclaimed I put myself there to wake up. To wake up from the slumber of living with a man who was addicted to pills and beating me. That if I wanted to die I should stay with him. That I needed to respect myself and get away from that awful scenario or more of this madness would ensure. My friend forced him to make my bail after about six days. It took me another six months to fully release myself from that abuse. Over that six months, the state of California tried to prosecute me. It was my friend’s testimony, that she had seen me with bruises, that finally cleared my name many months later. There were even pictures from the jail with my face covered in bruises! I had to trust but was then still learning this concept. I had no money, but my court-appointed attorney represented me well and my name was cleared. That was the year I had been practicing yoga two times a day and my consciousness was blooming. It was my first YTT that finally pulled me away from that relationship for good. 

My final jail experience was learning that the matrix is full of dark energies and to GET OUT OF THERE QUIETLY. Also that I am protected by God/Goddess and to TRUST.  I had just moved to the nearby town of Topanga, located in the forest. I was feeling very deeply connected to nature for the first time in nearly 20 years. I was on my way to teach at the most famous yoga studio in the world. In LA I pulled over to read a text message, unknowingly next to a fire hydrant. A meter man approached my window and told me to “Move my fucking vehicle.” I responded with a sassy, “What makes you think you can talk to a woman that way?” He then walked behind my car and started writing me a ticket. I wanted to drive away but his meter car and a car in front of me were blocking me in. I had just paid $500 for other tickets and felt desperate. I got out of the car to try and beg the man to not write me a ticket. I approached him and he then threw me against my car. I hit my head hard and felt a surge of adrenaline. I was at the peak of my physical strength at that time, pressing to handstand on my fingertips. I instinctually wrapped my arms around the quite chubby meter man, moved him to the left, and jumped in my Civic and got out of there. As I drove away I heard him saying “Assault, I am being assaulted.” Within seconds six police pulled me over. I got out of the car and apparently, they were yelling, “Get down on the ground,” but I just stood there with my head still aching. They arrested me, impounded my vehicle, and put my french bulldog in the pound. The crooked cops actually even stole my new iPod and left the receipt in the bag! In jail that night I was ‘felt up’ by a female officer while a few male cops watched, me wearing my summer yoga gear. I meditated in my cell and wondered how was this happening to me? I’m a yogi! I don’t do anything wrong now! I teach at Exhale! I was beyond crushed. My best Beverly Hills private client happened to be a lawyer and she made my 3K bail. She found me a criminal defense attorney because California was again charging me, attempted manslaughter with a deadly weapon was the charge. I couldn’t believe it. He claimed I tried to run him over with my car! My life savings of 10k went to this lawyer. I will definitely write about this in my book, but to make a long story short it took an entire year to clear my name. Finally, the lawyer got the records of this meter man who had a history of violence. I had no money left and no lawyer at the end of the case. I went to court the final time representing myself. That morning I awoke at 4 am and stood on top of the mountain in Topanga. I proclaimed out loud to Source, “I TRUST YOU SPIRIT!” and stretched my arms out wide. I dressed in a long shamans robe for court, clean face, I was 4 months pregnant with Satya. I was peeing nonstop! There was a prosecuting attorney whose job it was to keep my case in trial. She went to the bathroom, and then the magical unexpected happened, this blonde witch judge called my case right then. “I call the State versus Ashley Albrand to the floor. I find the defendant not guilty. Does anyone object?” She asked this last question to the empty chair.The chair that had objected for one entire year and that was it. I was finally free! All charges dropped and the scary nightmare over. I bawled the entire way home thanking spirit for my life and promised to never not trust again. I saw the corrupt system first hand. The masked men and women that work for the government. The high heels and the nooses around the men’s necks. I knew it was time for me to completely exit a sick society, and I did. I learned not to ever speak in a fiery way to an official government employee. The Ani Difranco line I had been listening to since I was 16,  “Smile pretty and watch your back”, finally had real meaning. 

I am currently involved in a custody case with a polyamorous bisexual that I was manipulated by and never married to. He is claiming that I abducted my daughters from California. I know the lotus will blossom and I send all angels reading this the strength to trust the Source and know that the muddy waters of life are designed by your soul to strengthen you and help you rise in your divine power. The seed must be planted in the deepest darkest soil to take root. The Sahasrara chakra is the thousand-petaled lotus blooming at the crown of the head. May you keep reaching for the light in all of your dark moments, trusting the experience is for your ascension. In times of “Why me? How is this happening to me?” I want us to meditate on the lotus in full bloom, breathing deep inhales and trusting in the unknown. Stretch our arms out to the side and bless our lives with the magic. Then reach down pull up our bootstraps and take a giant step into the mud.

Keep rising, opening, and expanding towards the light! 

Love, OG

Dive In

Blessings! Happy Aquarian full moon. Aquarius is the water bearer & rules the galactic higher mind. Perfect for our August theme “dive in”.

I’m here in Oregon for this moon cycle with my beloved & my daughters. In April I was living in an apartment on the beach in Quintana Roo Mexico, just outside of Tulum. Universe guided me to check on my bus in Grass Valley. She had been our home for 2 years & I had left her there for four months while I filmed for oneOeight in Seattle, led teacher training in Costa Rica, led a retreat in Tulum and posted up in Tulum after a missed flight at the end of the budget.

Anyway, I felt I had to go back to cold Grass Valley because the bus could have been ridden with mold. She wasn’t. One cupboard had a tiny bit. Upon arrival, it was very obvious that our co-parenting friendship wasn’t going to flow in that bus anymore. My assistant (iISY goddess Paizley) drove me to LA to pick up the lotus belle that had been gifted to me a year before but I never had a way to get. So I pitched that shit. In a field 200 feet from the bus. One week later I was handing the hose to the temporary gardener, my acquaintance of 6 years, Ryan Quintana. Blast off. It literally felt like a planet exploded between us that moment at the hose. It felt like Saturn’s rings expanding from the mid-point between us. The energy was unreal. I haven’t felt anything like that before, this energy was coming from US, together.

It was ON. We got the blessings from the babes dad too and it all felt so fated. We drove to Utah together to visit my mum and when he didn’t come to the jungle with me to alchemize the goddesses on my training I felt so sad and thought maybe it wasn’t right after all. I saw something on Instagram that day that read “indecision is the decision” and I felt like we probably weren’t right or we would have chosen to be together. My journey alone in the jungle with two young girls was full of emotion. We had that powerful new moon in Cancer & alongside missing the love, I was being totally blessed up by spirit right and left. Our collective dream even manifested a castle! Mine and Ryan’s love was growing in the psychic realm each day that passed. He is my muse. After the training I left the castle to be with him. My original plan was to stay there until September. It is the home of my heart! It seemed crazy and took me many weeks to make the decision to leave my personal paradise manifestation and DIVE IN to love, family, and the Pacific Northwest! The cabin we live in was basically a storage unit for 3 years and doesn’t have power yet! Our first moon cycle together has been full of challenges but the love keeps blossoming each day. It’s SO scary to share this. Who knows what will happen! I get embarrassed easily, Aries does. I just feel really clear about this next bit and is the reason I feel aligned with pressing send.

You can dive! Whatever it is, universe is going to support you with what you need. It might not work out, but follow your heart and trust the experience is for you, designed by you. Lately I feel more and more stoked to invite in anything that universe is offering. For years I pushed it all away but now I realize I need these teachings, these contrasts. During my training I was talking to my man long distance and producing for Instagram and a little bit for Snapchat, plus teaching 6 am -6 pm and being a mama (with help). There wasn’t that much time for my own inner gaze. I can always find it at night or early in the morning but I know my soul called in this current isolation situation to decompress. I have been cooking on the wood burning stove, even for hot water! My phone is always dead so I really can’t produce and the kids can’t watch a movie so they are using imagination in nature if we are at home, solamente. Our love Quintana has been blasting us with powerful nature and this photo was taken after we scaled a mountain with the babes to get down to the dope spot. He is a rock climber. Seriously. I recommend these! His chest feels like home to me. Send us your blessings and come activate with us in Oregon this September (offering coming soon) or in Bali this fall/winter, or in Costa Rica in February. He speaks fluent Spanish so I’m really excited to be down there with protection. It’s been quite the challenge for me down there not fluent in Spanish. Ok, now I feel like my blog is just a love note to my sweetheart.

I love all of you tribe. I love the parts of you that you hide. I love the parts of you that cry or scream or pop off. I want you to trust in what is happening and even if it feels like shit I want you to open yourself to receive the messages from your highest guides. I am here to share that everything that happens to us is for us, designed by us, to activate us, heal us & through devastation, rip apart our hearts to become a reservoir to hold more love. I hope my message translates!

Start with what you have and DIVE! Live life without fear. Tell yourself “it’s all happening, life is happening, I am supported” then GIVE THANKS before you receive the wisdom, the blessings or the needs met. Dive in and swim deep my loves. Everything you experience or uncover is absolutely perfect and so are you. I will be diving into my third eye this full moon with my activated high-vibrational fire, earth match. I will be sending you strength from the outer realms.

I will be diving into my third eye this full moon with my activated, high vibrational, fire-earth match.

Stay sexy baes

I love u endless

OG

Darkness - Duality - Light

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aiiight
the OG is gonna lay down some
sh!t. lol.
no mud no lotus.
the stinkier the sh!t the more beautiful the flowers.

The darkness is the duality to the light. The seed must first be planted in fertile darkness and be buried very deep down in there, germinating and taking root in order to eventually seek out the light. Basically, when we root to the darkness and become awake to our shadow we can rise and grow and blossom while keeping our firm footing deep in the soil of Mother Earth.

You see, we are the light, we are the dark, we are the darkest of starry night skies. we are thousands of endless miles of mystery and depth and shadow. There is nothing to fear, this magick, this darkness. The darkness is what makes the light be anything at all. without it there is no contrast.

Once I was lost in an emotionally abusive relationship. This person thought I was a failure and this person felt sorry that I took up so much space on this earth. I was told I was fat, needed to be different than I was and simultaneously this person thought I was better than others based on how I looked. I focused on creating an outer image that I thought was what would help me become free. It was all a trap. I was mentally trapped. When I started to wake up from this abuse I was in Jail. I remember calling the man I was dating and living with from jail, my one phone call, the man who had put all of my possessions out on the sidewalk, so when I got home we got in a fight about it, and a neighbor called the police. I remember he picked me up by my ears and lifted my body up squeezing my head really hard. He threw me against the wall and when I fought back with a bite things escalated in noise and energy. When the cops came I sat quiet as he told lies to them. I guess I didn’t have the strength at that point to even stick up for myself.

The silent handcuffed ride to the police station really hurt my wrists. I called him from Jail. I told him I loved him and would he please come and get me out of there. I was scared. He never came. My parents left me in there too. I remember my mother saying if I wanted to do that Yoga teacher training I had to choose bail or teacher training. The bail was set at 3k. It was my girlfriend Kara that finally pressured him to get me out. She had seen bruises on my arms once 6 months before and when she asked I told her that he had grabbed me hard. When I was in jail that time I wrote myself a letter. The spirit of this universe channeled through me that I was put in jail to finally wake up from this emotional abuse. To wake up from the illusions I was living and take action. I was to free myself from myself.

You see, I was the abuser. I was the one who was abusive to me. If you are letting ANYONE treat you badly it is only a reflection of WHAT YOU THINK OF YOURSELF. Why do we think these things about ourselves? I’m unworthy, I’m fat, I’m not smart enough or pretty enough or rich enough. Who taught us all of these thoughts? The man that I was dating was addicted to some high strength pain medication, alcohol, cigarettes and he was a casual cocaine user. I didn’t even know about that until years later. He had seemed so great when we met. Ancient Karma. Truth was I was in a desperate place and he was the latest reflection of what I thought of myself based on these teachings that I now know come from the system put in place to inoculate and control me since birth.  

I was in court for 2 months with a free lawyer appointed by the state. The state was the one pressing charges. It was my siSTAR Kara testifying in court to the previous bruises that finally cleared the charges. I even had pictures of the day I went to jail, covered in black and blue bruises, he wasn’t pressing charges, California was. I got see firsthand the sickness in that system. Nobody cared about me in there. The administration was cold and my tears were wasted. In the end I was vindicated and I moved on with life. I am grateful for that dark and scary experience but it taught me many things. One thing I didn’t learn until years later is that IT TAKES TWO TO FIGHT. You can always leave any situation. Just walk away. Get outta there. WALK AWAY FROM NEGATIVE ENERGY! YOU DON’T OWE THAT PERSON ANYTHING. Walk towards the light and stay there until the energy has shifted. It also taught me that family is ancient Karma and we cannot value ourselves based on what our family thinks of us, only WE KNOW THE TRUTH DEEP INSIDE.

Another lesson was, be kind to womyn, you never know when you are gonna need your sister, and your sisters got your back! It also taught me not to move in with men quickly, and if it starts dramatically it will probably end that way. It taught me that everything happens for a reason.

Since my deeper souls work and destiny is to work with victims of domestic violence and sexual exploitation, I had to go through these portals in order to understand how they happen. How do beautiful girls with all the potential in the world end up with so much trauma, pain and sadness in their lives? I found the answer. It’s kinda complicated. It has to do with HERSTORY and the programming of the divine feminine. That is another post altogether. Recently in a hotel in Mexico I woke up to a womyn's voice above me screaming “help me! someone help me!” there were crashes and bangs and it was almost 5 am, she was waking up the whole hotel. It eerily reminded me of my past. I wanted to run to her. Later she was literally picking up clothing that he had thrown off the balcony, right outside my window. I looked into her eyes and told her not to let anyone treat her badly ever again. To get up and walk away. To walk towards the first womyn she sees and ask for help. I don’t know if anyone will help her next time but maybe you will be the one, maybe you will have read this story and your heart will open up to her cries.

My friend Kara is also the one who told me about the yoga teacher training program called White Lotus Foundation. I began my training 5 months later. It’s been over a decade since then. I now lead empowerment retreats & workshops globally. My school of consciousness called Infinite Source Yoga is a lifestyle school that will deprogram your mind, empower your physical body and awaken your spirit like NO OTHER TRAINING OF ITS KIND. I will never forget the way my BIRCH Kara had my back. She was scared to speak out because her then husband was friends with my abuser but she did anyways. Thank you Kara.

I will never forget the stupidity of the system and how many people are fighting a pointless fight in court right now when they need to be swimming in a warm ocean and stretching their beautiful bodies, possibly even naked in the sand.


Most people in the system are broken from their youth and need an ISY empowerment training and healing retreat lifestyle. This is the truth. We all deserve the light. I went thru many more dark portals before and after this experience. I am the strongest womyn I know. I am learning to become soft again after years and years of building a wall of protection around myself and fighting to survive. I birthed two amazing children, one on my own in the privacy of my treehouse in the forest in a pool of water. I do believe all of my dark portals have created a light werker that is powerful and here to help lead the divine feminine to victory. I believe in myself because I had to.

Please consider beginning this journey toward the truth of your soul, before you attract the negative energy on the outside that is swirling in your head. Know that you are perfect AS YOU ARE, with all of your “flaws” and Great Mystery APPROVES OF YOU EVEN IF YOU DO NOTHING BUT BREATHE ALL DAY LONG. Start the journey towards love and acceptance of yourself. Let your past EMPOWER you to discern and create light rooted in the darkness of fertile soul. On March 23rd for this lunar eclipse full Moon in Virgo, the sign of healing and the Goddess, it is the perfect time to release any limiting beliefs about yourself, time to let go of any and all old ideas about who you are. To release old pain and transcend into truth consciousness. YOU ARE A DIVINE BEING capable of creating worlds. Value yourself and your outer world will slowly shift to represent these changes.

Continue to harness your creative power by THINKING LIGHT THOUGHTS & watch in amazement and the universe conspires to align your desires. Keep inhaling the divine love of all light, in through your nose and exhaling out what no longer serves. We make it true when we talk about it so clean up your story. If it’s not empowering you it’s time to let it go! We become what we look at and think. We are what we eat. Pay attention to what is ready to be released and what is being birthed by you. Your dark and your light are necessary components to your whole. You got this video game called life. Close your eyes to really see and navigate the inner space of your being with the brightest light available to us all, the infinite breath.

I love you

all
ways
OGyogini

 

This blog was originally posted on oneOeight.tv

The Womb Web

There is an energy inside of your womb. It’s a divine network that is interconnected to all the divine wombyn in this universe. If you pray to this womb web in alignment with your destiny, your dreams will come true. If you honor this beautiful energy inside of you, you will be honoring all the divine Goddesses on this planet.

For many years I have worked in the commercial yoga industry. I prayed and prayed to the spirits of this universe to help me get out onto the world stage so that I could make something of my life and also to help illuminate the consciousness of the wombyn. For years I felt totally blocked in this mission to be seen. I could get a group to follow me to India or Jamaica or Bali but to get a corporation to recognize me and see me as valuable was impossible. I saw younger yogi fans of mine having major success and thought “I am too hippy or too conscious “ to be part of the teaching community that was teaching to thousands. I wanted to get out there but nothing I tried was getting me “out” anywhere. Go for it! Ask for what you need! These are the things the world tells us when wanting to achieve our innermost goals. It seemed if I tried, the harder the rejection came.

It was 2013 when I had my second baby. I chose a sovereign pregnancy and birth because of what I had learned in my first pregnancy and birth. I had so many experiences regarding trust at this point that delivering my own baby actually wasn’t that challenging. During this second pregnancy is when the universe told me about this womb web. I began downloading so much about the divine feminine and her pain during my first birth and the healing that came after, but this womb web stuff was new to me. Spirit told me that all the divine goddesses on this planet were working together to heal and birth the new earth. That it is an underground network that is here to provide for any wombyn who also wants to heal this planet and themselves from thousands of lifetimes of dominator-patriarchal control. Some of the ways we can enhance our womb majick are, giving our blood to the Earth when we release our monthly moon medicine, meditation with our hands placed in downward facing triangle (ancient symbol for the yoniverse) over the 2nd chakra where our womb is located and also plant medicines that enhance the feminine energies so we can tune into this sacred Ida Nadi intelligence. 

I have had a few experiences with this womb web that blow my own mind and one of them I will briefly share because of who we are both know. Last year I was in Costa Rica teaching some Infinite Source Yoga on a friend’s retreat. I knew the Envision festival was coming up and it was working my emotions to be near it, I had tried to become a teacher at that festival for many years with no success (as always lol) I started placing my hands on my womb and asking the womb web to help me get to that festival so that my children could have a consciousness expanding experience in the jungle that included like minded nature loving families. I didn’t ask for anything but a way to get there. I had a very small budget for my travels and didn’t think I could even afford a ticket. My friend Rachel Brathen was teaching at the festival and so I asked her if she knew a way for me to be involved. I have no clue if Rachel knows about the womb web but what happened next floored me. NOBODY HAS EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS FOR ME IN 10 YEARS OF TEACHING COMMERCIALLY AND TRUST ME I HAVE ASKED. She wrote the festival. She said ONE OF HER FRIENDS & TEACHERS (trust me again it takes some serious non-egoic love energy for a yoga teacher to say that in this commercial world) was in Costa Rica and wants to be a part of the festival, and if there was anything they could do to have me ON AS A PRESENTOR. And just like that the magick of the universe was real and my name was on the fucking website!!!! I got to teach alongside Rachel and Meghan Currie and Kaypacha (another amazing teacher of mine) it was BEYOND a dream come true. I met students from all over the globe and healed my own wounds of not feeling connected to the group or seen as a teacher of so many years. It was emotional and healing and orgasmic all in one. I will never forget that experience as long as I live. I did send Rachel a note, I did pray for years and years and worked hard for a decade to deserve the honor but I’m telling YOU the womb web is where you want to be offering your prayers to the Goddess because its OTHER WOMBYN who are going to help you and connect you in the ways that are specific for your dharma.

Also, if your feeling stuck in your spiritual practice and provided for, I urge you to place your hands on your womb and send the energy of assistance to the Goddesses that are seeking help. Open up your energy field for giving and you will connect with the people you need for your own ascension. I have many more mind- blowing womb- web connection stories that I will save for future writings. I am not sure I really am able to relay the magick of being a teacher at a festival that you have wanted to teach at since its inception, or the beauty of a friend going out on a limb for me. Prayers are answered in their own time and in alignment with truth energy. Keep your prayer, keep your faith and open up your 2nd chakra energy field for communication and healing with your chosen family, your tribe. The womb web is REAL and we are all in this together.
 

Sending love and healing ASH

This blog was originally posted on oneOeight.tv

my experience at Envision festival 2015!

Envision a healing 

And it will arrive.

I promised a blog after the incredible experience of  teaching at The Envision festival in the jungle of Costa Rica! So "Mars in Taurus" of me for it to take more than 2 months so be inspired to get techy. Venus came into Gemini which I also have in my chart so I feel communicating about the earth to the  wombyn is being supported by the spirit!

Upon arrival to the festival we met Meghan Currie for the first time and immediately vibed high. We had an amazing dinner together and that night we shared space outside my tent surrounded by seashells and candles. We spoke intimately and I fell in love.

I was blessed by Rachel Brathen to be given this opportunity to teach as she wrote the Envision people, suggesting I was one of her friends and

teachers (

takes a strong woman to honor another teacher in this way... She is truth) and that I was already in Costa Rica so they should have me teach at the festival! Wow! That was so kind Rachel! The classes were prayerful and spiritually fulfilling. I felt zero pressure to conform and I could really let spirit speak. I will never forget the kindness extended to me by Rachel, for this opportunity. Biggest Namaha! 

The girls had a beautiful time with the other children, we love sleeping on the Earth and waking up to friends and sunshine. Eating fruit with goddess tribe under the palm trees feels so right. I have always wanted to be on the festival circuit and even more so now with the children. I love the complex social structures children form when given the outlet and space to do so. The tiny tribe fascinates me. Rachel's class at the festival was amazing and Meghan's too! I loved Sofia and especially my main man

Kaypacha

who I ran into 4 auspicious times! Once at sunset, where we hugged and planned a retreat together for this December. Constant pinching and it's still happening!

The weekend was especially healing for me because I have taught for so many years and really hadn't been honored the way the sisters honored me here. Infinite source yoga taught at it's first international festival and it happened to be in my favorite element, the jungle! Of course there were parts of the experience that weren't blissful but learning curves. I hurt my knee a little the last day, so symbolic!!! Teaching with an injured knee might normally be scene as a disadvantage but the moon in cancer that day (and my moon in cancer) and the injury helped me tap into the deeper wisdom I have learned through healing my knee from 2 surgeries. The small injury took me into my third eye and heart and truth in a deeper way that wasn't present the day before. I stayed in my tent that morning, had a cry and deeply myofascialed my thigh muscle to release the pain. I used noni plant tincture (ice tree) to reduce inflammation and felt really grateful for my usually happy knees. My voice came thru more because my body felt limited. The hidden blessings of injury are always there when I feel more closely. I really felt loved and supported by the yogis of the world this weekend. I watched gorgeous tribe people commune with each other. I felt the jungle and the rich soil of Costa Rica dancing in my cells, mama ocean rippling through my fear. All the humans that made contact with my being that weekend, I bow infinitely to you. I love you! 

The last night, I was missing their dad after 9 weeks of contemplating our relationship. I thought our flight to 

LA was 2 days away and wondered what time it was at. I opened the email at 10:30 at nite to see 

my flight was the next day at 10:30 am! We were 5 plus hours away and I was laying in my tent icing my knee with 2 sleeping angels. 

I Ariesed it. Lol. Starting packing and gently limping my things through the jungle...People started joining in... Maybe 7 people joined in carrying all of my things to the front where we caught a cab. I returned the camp gear and held 2 babies on my chest for a 4 hr bumpy van ride to San Jose. We arrived at sunrise and made our flight. To the sisters who tied the dream catcher bracelet on my wrist as I left the festival it just broke so that cycle has been completed. Thank you for the witchy rad ending/new beginning.

I also got to chill with Andrea Price Yoga who is amazing! There was so much joy and beauty here. Naked people of all shapes and sizes! Tribe and great vibes! Envision is Eco friendly and you had to 

bring your own dishes or rent them from the venue! This pleases my earth mama warrior greatly! Composts were everywhere and fresh coconuts for the sipping. If you get a chance to get to the Envision Festival in this life it's an OG recommend.

Loving you! 

Ash 

P.s I will answer any questions about this on insta! Hit me up! Xo

P.s yes I did consider staying but my soul has unfinished business in the US right now! Pura vida in my H

My Birth Story

Namaste beautiful angels of love light and ascension!
I SEE YOU!
Its been almost a year since I activated myself to write. I have been in a deep mediation about my usefulness in this world. I delivered my second baby at home in water in what I like to call a "sovereign" pregnancy and birth. This means that for me, consciousness in birth isn't quite up to par with my own consciousness so spirit and I needed to be left alone so that we could meditate the baby down without any hassle or unnecessary intervention. For me, even an extra voice in the space was too much. In my astrological chart it says that I am a direct connection to the source, a wild stallion that is looking to be accepted into society for the purpose of healing the planet and shedding light on darkness. 
WELL
that is a big responsibility but I am feeling quite capable of doing this on a small scale after delivering my 10.6 pound baby with only my partner present. During the pregnancy I was MISERABLE. She was SO BIG and pressing on my pubic bone very intensely. I kid you not, I slept only a few hours for 9 months. I remember limping to the bucket we kept upstairs in our treehouse so i wouldn't have to go outside to pee in the night. I remember this limping & pain several times a night. I begged spirit to bring the baby at least 100 times a day for over 2 months. You see, I didn't have a due date because I didn't see a doctor, so we had NO CLUE when she would come! It was the most TRUST i have ever had to muster. I was putting my total trust in the universe & myself. I had just had a baby 9 months before my second pregnancy and the birth didn't go down the way I had visualized. I won't go into specifics (long story too)  but lets just say when I became pregnant the second time my intuition to "do it" alone was CLEAR AND STRONG.  I stayed home in nature for most of the pregnancy. I did A LOT of pranayama and its safe to say the entire pregnancy was a deep meditation and practice of patience and trust. 

So I prayed to the great spirit for spiritual ecstasy, family bliss, &  a healthy happy home birth. It was all that and more. On April 2 2013 at 4 am I felt the tingles of electric energy surging through my body, it was subtle but I new it wasn't anything I had ever felt. At 6 am a white light "hit" my third eye then pushed down to my yoni and BOOM my water broke! The most surprising part of my labor was the falling asleep. I would sit down in this white comfy chair we have upstairs and fall asleep. I would wake up and stand up and circle my hips around and around and around & as I felt GOD surging through me, opening up my insides so that this beautiful being could come down and be with us. After the contraction I would fall asleep. BEST GIFT FROM SPIRIT THIS SLEEPING. I wonder if more wombyn stayed home uninterrupted from the process by machines and midwives if they too would get to pass out between contractions. At around 7 am (i think) I stepped into our birthing pool 100% based on desire. I had no idea if it was even "time". Spirit said "if you desire it, trust it". When I stepped in the water the gongs went off on the playlist I had turned on and Rara Avis began to OM. I felt it was an initiation. Inside the tub there was that little bit of hell where I felt like a rat in a cage and I told drew we weren't doing this again. Looking back I believe that was transition. I felt up inside me and could feel its head. I asked spirit to take care of me. I asked drew to hold my yoni so I wouldn't tear like last time. When I launched my arms over the edge of the tub so I could be on my front it felt like I was running a marathon. My arms weighed a thousand pounds. So much energy was in the space. So much of something we cannot see, bearing down on me, shaking the shit outta me, shaking the fear out so that bliss could arrive. I knew I had to "take" one more surge of energy through my body to open up enough so I wouldn't tear. Some women have to push, not me, I have to hold the baby in and take the "energy" so I can open up. Then all of a sudden she was here. At 7:42 am she floated up with her arms outstretched. She looked like Christ. She came up and I just intuitively and very softly pulled a little liquid out of her nose with my mouth. Like a mamma bird. Then she breathed in. No cry. just starred up at us and started to nurse. Our best friend Anna was downstairs with Satya and she brought her up and Sati got in the tub. 3 hours and 42 minutes from start to finish Thank YOU JESUS! lol! 

I ate my placenta half raw in smoothies and half dehydrated into capsules. I also had plant medicine during the birth and for the after pains. We used angelicas herb to help my placenta release. Eight days later her name came to us which means the purest most powerful goddess. 

SITA BHAVANI.

She is 10 months old now and has been walking for a month. When she was born I knew she was going to help teach the wombyn of the world and I know that she didn't need a midwife because we were meant to do it alone. The best part of the entire experience is HAVING HER IN MY LIFE. She is the kindest, sweetest most chill baby on the planet. She is smarter than anyone I have ever known and cares about everyone present. SHE IS STRONG AS FUCK! lol! Sometimes we call her Bhavzilla cuz she doesn't know her own strength. The birth was just her epic beginning and spirit has said ALL wombyn who desire birth alone can have it. Its has to do with your mind and the destiny of your baby. So listening carefully inward and meditation is the number one way to connect with your ecstatic and most high birth experience. UNIQUE TO YOU. 

I want to share this amazing experience with anyone who wants to listen so think of me for your blogs, interview shows & anything else you are doing to help raise the vibrations and de-programme the people. I am here to serve! 

I LOVE YOU

TRUST THE UNIVERSE!!!

btw... the DMT that dumps into your brain at the beginning of labor is better that ANY drug they could offer at the hospital. I wish all wombyn knew that. 

blessings!

TRUST THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!

GETTING YOUR BODY "BACK" IS WACK

Getting your body "back" is whack

you will never have the body you had before you had a baby

or the body you had in high school

the body you have now

 is the only body you will ever have

because all you have is now

your body is one of thousands that you will have

if you are on the path of the buddha~

u gotta release attachment to physical plane

this includes caring about what your body looks like

Im done with that style of living

GALACTIC BEINGS

this is what we are

Spirit Soup

ALL ONE

inside each skin suit is star matter

bend & twist your body to match the constellations

Breathe so deeply that your insides shine like the cosmos

revel in the plants that so effortlessly & consistently bloom around you

look up

grow a baby

heal an injury

sit with your breath & listen to crickets or frogs or the earth turn

Ask the spirit to show you something beautiful

make a shape with your body

be reverent to your body

your body is a diamond

a god

a goddess

peace & unity is yours

your birthright

surrender

there is nowhere to go

we are here now

wow

1

Interview on MIND BODY GREEN

BUMP & SUFI GRIND

part one

Yogis and yoga teachers, how has your pregnancy or a student's changed the way you practice or teach? What have been your challenges, realizations or blessings of prenatal practice? I sat down with inversion queenAshley Albrand to find out how she’s embraced her changing body, soul and practice over the last nine months. 

ER: You’re such an amazing yogi! What has pregnancy changed about your practice? 

AA: It’s been a very yin time for me. I usually enjoy lots of inversions andbandhas and pranayamas that just didn't feel appropriate during this very lunar female cycle. Certain ligaments stretching above my pubic bone also prevented me from really enjoying any asana that wasn't gentle. I have loved the deeper dimensions of my meditation practice during this mind-blowing time. The knowledge that with each breath I am feeding my unborn baby the life force is mesmerizing. A gentle practice has kept my hips open, my legs from swelling, and my overall mood uplifted and peaceful. The hormones can be quite intense during different phases of the pregnancy; the yoga is noticeably balancing and calming. Connecting to spirit has really become the truth of my existence, without this practice I know it would be more difficult to remember the feeling of connection.  

What have you learned about your practice and your favorite inversions during this time? Have you still been hanging out upside down more often than not?

I’ve learned that my strength is beyond what I thought - that I could probably be pregnant for 2 years and still be able to press to handstand.Yoga gives you a deep spiritual & physical strength that is almost super human. It’s pretty crazy that even though I’m not practicing the strong poses, at 37 weeks pregnant I can still press to handstand. Even though I'm not practicing it, it’s nice to know it doesn't go away. I’m so grateful to yoga. I love my body and who I have become after 11 years of dedicating my life to it. I was incorrect to think that if I only do a gentle practice during the pregnancy that I would have to work super hard to re-gain my strength. It hasn't gone away! 

What poses are feeling really good to you right now?


The sufi grind feels amazing. I love to practice sufi grind while in baddhakonasana (Bound Angle). Spiraling your heart and allowing the pelvic bowl to move in a circle keeps my lower back stretched and open as well as the psoas which can be more difficult to keep open during pregnancy. Also loving rajakapotasana (Pigeon) with 3 bolsters. Agnistambasana (Double Pigeon) is great for the outer hips. As forstanding posesDownward DogWarriors I & II. Parshvakonasana (Side Angle) with ardha badha (Half Wrap) variation with the forearm on the knee. Trikonasana (Triangle) and even Half Moon feels great for my body. Nice to stay connected to balance, so I like a block with Triangle and Half Moon. The best poses right now for me are also made up stretches that aren't in any books. I have found that stuffing a bunch of pillows or bolsters behind me and taking a half virasana will get into my psoas.  

What poses do you miss the most right now?

Uttanasana! I cannot wait to be in a deep forward fold again. And uddiyana bhanda kriya. I have practiced this cleansing and strengthening movement for 11 years every single day. I will have to wait about 3 months after baby to fully come back to it. It’s a huge lift up on all of your internal organs. My organs are smashed up under my rib cage right now so I will want to give them some time to drop all the way down and settle back into their home. I also miss all of my beloved inversions. Piking to Handstand and pressing and floating around is so fun! Glad I have my whole life to enjoy them! Arm balancesPlank, full natarajasana (Crown King Dancer). I’m really excited to practice with my baby outside of my body. I often daydream about wrapping the baby in a moby wrap, strapping to my chest and doing my full practice! We will see if the universe aligns it...  

Thanks so much, Ashley!

Check back for the second half of our interview in the coming week for more prenatal wisdom from this gravity-defying goddess yogi. In the meantime, check out Ashley’s conscious pregnancy blog where she shares instructional practice videos, recipes and more mama magic on YouTubeFacebook, andTwitter.

photos by Kristin Burns

This was originally blogged on Mind Body Green.

OPPORTUNITY

Any Opportunity that comes into your life is your own creation; it does not come of itself, nor by chance or good luck. Opportunity is either created now, or has been created at some time in the near or distant past, by your own rightly guided will. If you see no opportunity now, create one by your will, which is a divine instrument within you. Say "I will do everything for myself with my own will, which is a reflection in me of Divine Will." Act on this truth, and opportunity will come to you.
–Paramahansa Yogananda

Many Thanks And Blessings To The Talented & Amazing

Anne Kelly

For Creating This Beautiful Virtual Space! Love You!!